And I was in the darkness, so darkness I became.

   Sometimes I feel like I'm dying inside, sometimes I feel OK.
   Sometimes I feel like I would cut, just to make the pain go.
   Sometimes I think how better the lives of the people that I love would be without me.
   So most of the time, I wanna die, but the little parts of the time that are not dark, the little shiny ones, the ones that make me hope again, are worth fighting for. Life is worth fighting for. I assure you.
   I'm not saying that I'm a genius, or that I have the right age to think or feel like I'm starting to be wise, to think for myself, to be the person that I see myself becoming. But I think I'm old enough to know that life is not just about being born, going to school, working and then paying bills. I think we're way greater and bigger than that, take your time and think about that, and the next time you want to cut or to kill yourself, just think that the person or situation which led you to this are not worth suffering or dying for, 'cause they don't care, but you should, 'cause you're great, and you can achieve great things. Think about that.

"Weight"

   Weight.
   I may not appear "fat" in the eyes of the people around me. But I see myself big, very big, very fat.
   1,70 meters(5.5 feet) and 60 kg(132 pounds).
   Doctors tell that I should have 65 kg(143 p.).
   I already see myself as an obese person, how should I accept myself with 5 more kg(11 p).?
   So I wanna lost weight, I'll turn 16 soon, and there are a few months until summer, and I am fat. I hate myself, and I do not care that people want to make me feel that I look "ok", they cannot help, because I am fat, too fat, that's why no one likes me. I think that no one likes me.
   I think that my friends don't like me, my family doesn't like me, no one does. I feel like a piece of shit. And as if it wasn't enough that I'm fat, I'm ugly too, so that even if I lost weight, I'd still be ugly, so that no one would want to spend time with me. Because I'm ugly.
   So I hate myself, but no one knows that, maybe because they don't care or maybe it's just my fault. All I know is that I hate myself, I do not hate anyone else, I just hate myself.