"Weight"

   Weight.
   I may not appear "fat" in the eyes of the people around me. But I see myself big, very big, very fat.
   1,70 meters(5.5 feet) and 60 kg(132 pounds).
   Doctors tell that I should have 65 kg(143 p.).
   I already see myself as an obese person, how should I accept myself with 5 more kg(11 p).?
   So I wanna lost weight, I'll turn 16 soon, and there are a few months until summer, and I am fat. I hate myself, and I do not care that people want to make me feel that I look "ok", they cannot help, because I am fat, too fat, that's why no one likes me. I think that no one likes me.
   I think that my friends don't like me, my family doesn't like me, no one does. I feel like a piece of shit. And as if it wasn't enough that I'm fat, I'm ugly too, so that even if I lost weight, I'd still be ugly, so that no one would want to spend time with me. Because I'm ugly.
   So I hate myself, but no one knows that, maybe because they don't care or maybe it's just my fault. All I know is that I hate myself, I do not hate anyone else, I just hate myself.